Around six weeks ago we went into social isolation. Both Adam and I stopped going in to work. He was laid off and I have been working from home. Its a strangely surreal experience, to say the least. I’ve built a routine that I keep to every day and its really suiting me. I have always had a tough time with social interactions. I’m an introvert, pretending to be an extrovert, and I’ve realized that takes a lot of effort. So I’ve been striving to make good use of this break from the real world.
I think many people went into this time with goals and I feel really proud of what I’ve accomplished so far. I’ve added a strength workout into my day five days a week and that has me feeling more confident, and not surprisingly stronger. This is something I’ve often avoided despite knowing how much it would help me.
I’m also around 25lbs (about 11kgs) lighter than I was at the end of last year. Thats been a combination of factors coming together and resulting in me feeling so much better about my body. Body image is incredibly hard and it’s so difficult feeling negatively about the amazing body in which you reside. It’s a constant conflict between the desire to love myself and the overwhelming messages heaped on women since we were too young, that we must be “thin” or “skinny” and that’s what makes us worthy. Well those messages are so firmly engraved in my brain that I don’t think I’ll ever truly shake them. So when I tell you I feel better 25lbs lighter, there’s a conflict there. What I do know is that 25lbs lighter means that I am a faster cyclist, and that’s been an anchor to help keep my mindset right. I don’t want to be skinny or thin, I want to be lean and strong, and I will continue to work on being grateful for the body I have lighter or heavier.
Over the next few weeks, I will get another blog post complete and talk more about this routine I’m building because I think its a game changer. My blog is my record of events in my life that I share with anyone who’s interested.